title: my favorite festival - christmas
it's the time of the year again, where snowflakes dance in the air and the smell of freshly baked cookies fills the house. that's right, i'm talking about christmas, my most cherished festival. it's not just about the presents under the tree or the colorful lights, but the warmth it brings to everyone's hearts.
i remember last christmas, my family gathered around the fireplace, telling stories and singing carols. dad was playing santa, his beard all white from the fake fur, while mom was busy in the kitchen, preparing our traditional feast. my little brother, tom, was so excited that he couldn't sleep the whole night, eagerly waiting for santa to arrive. his innocence made the moment even more magical.
however, there was one incident that still makes me laugh. i tried to decorate the tree all by myself, but ended up with ornaments hanging at uneven heights, some too high, others too low. it looked like a mischievous child had played with it. but instead of scolding me, my family found it hilarious and we took a funny picture as a memory.
the joy of giving is another aspect that i love about christmas. we make handmade gifts for each other, expressing our love and appreciation. last year, i made a photo album for mom, filled with memories of us together. her tears of happiness were the best reward i could ask for.
in the spirit of christmas, we also volunteer at the local shelter, distributing food and toys to those less fortunate. it's heartwarming to see their smiles light up, reminding us the true meaning of the festival.
but, amidst all the fun, i sometimes forget the religious significance of christmas. it's not just about the celebrations; it's a celebration of the birth of jesus christ. next year, i want to delve deeper into the religious aspect, maybe attend midnight mass, to truly understand and respect the festival's roots.
老師評(píng)語：
this piece captures the essence of christmas well, with vivid descriptions and personal anecdotes. however, there are a few areas that need attention. in the paragraph about decorating the tree, the sentence structure is slightly awkward. also, the transition from personal experiences to the act of giving could be smoother. lastly, the mention of understanding the religious aspect could be more integrated into the narrative.
內(nèi)容亮點(diǎn)：
the writer successfully paints a lively picture of their christmas experience, showing their emotional connection to the festival. the anecdote about decorating the tree adds a touch of humor. the idea of giving and volunteering highlights the spirit of the festival.
優(yōu)化參考：
the sentence 'his innocence made the moment even more magical' could be revised to 'tom's innocent excitement added an extra layer of magic to the night.' for a smoother transition, the paragraph on giving could start with, 'beyond the joy within our family, christmas also prompts us to share our blessings...'
批改后作文
title: a festive tale of love and giving - christmas
as winter's chill sets in, snowflakes pirouette gently, casting a spell of enchantment. the heartwarming scent of cookies wafts through the house, marking the arrival of my favorite festival - christmas. it's more than just the twinkling lights or the wrapped presents; it's the warmth it infuses into every heart.
recalling last year, our family huddled around the crackling fireplace, sharing tales and harmonizing carols. dad, donning a snowy fake beard, embodied the jovial santa, while mom bustled in the kitchen, crafting our customary feast. tom, my little brother, brimming with anticipation, stayed wide awake, his belief in santa's magic unshaken. his innocent excitement added an extra layer of magic to the night.
in my attempt to deck the halls, i inadvertently created a quirky christmas tree, with decorations scattered haphazardly. instead of criticism, laughter echoed, and a lighthearted memory was etched.
the joy of giving is a cherished part of this season. handmade gifts, each bearing a piece of our hearts, express our love and gratitude. last christmas, i presented mom with a photo album, a visual symphony of our shared moments. her teary smile was the ultimate testament to the power of thoughtful gestures.
moreover, we extend the festive cheer by volunteering at a local shelter. distributing food and toys to those in need, witnessing their radiant smiles, underscores the true spirit of christmas. yet, i realize there's more to learn. next year, i aim to deepen my understanding of its religious significance, perhaps by attending the solemnity of midnight mass, honoring the festival's origins.
作文寫作素材：
閱讀參考
to enhance your writing, consider reading "a child"s christmas in wales" by dylan thomas for its nostalgic holiday descriptions, and "the gift of the magi" by o. henry for its exploration of the true meaning of giving. additionally, studying religious texts like the bible can provide insights into the religious aspects of christmas.
